


Jeż

by Void (EroEmo)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Accidental Love Confession but the other party doesn't speak polish to understand it, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Half-Polish Martin Blackwood, Jon Sims is Bad At Feelings but he Tries, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, alcohol mention, yes Martin speaks Polish here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26477350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EroEmo/pseuds/Void
Summary: Jeż(pronounced "ye-a-sh") ‒ a small nocturnal Old World mammal with a spiny coat and short legs, able to roll itself into a ball for defence; a hedgehog.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	Jeż

**Author's Note:**

> This started up as cracking jokes with my friend about a bit drunk, sleep deprived student Martin asking dumb questions and switching between English and Polish, to everyone's utter horror. It escalated into something more... Feeling-ish. Maybe there will be more, maybe not. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!

"Martin, this is fine. I know what you mean."

He did not.

Jon knew lots of things ‒ things every student needed in order to survive, things regarding human life as a whole, things related to his major and, of course, useless trivia. He was good at knowing stuff, at  _ learning. _

He did not, however, know what Martin was talking about  _ in a slightest. _

"You do?" Martin sobbed. There was something akin to hope in his eyes.

Oh Lord.

"I-I mean… Yes? Though I'm not sure why we are talking about it now?" Jon tried to sound casual but he wasn't sure if he managed to pull it off.

He cleared his throat. "We could continue this tomorrow, I'm sure it won't‒"

"But I don't think‒" Martin hiccuped. It seemed to momentarily throw him off his train of thought but he came back on it quickly enough. "I don't think I would be able to sleep at night! Without the answer! Jon!"

That, for a change, Jon knew to be false. Martin, if he wasn't troubled by a wave of nightmares that tended to prevail for a few nights and then disappear, slept like a rock. He was even prone to drop off after a certain threshold of alcohol consumption was crossed and tonight checked that out. In other words, tonight Martin was likely to fall asleep quickly and to sleep peacefully through the night, or even late into the morning if he so desired.

Jon wished he didn't know these things. They weren't particularly good friends or  _ dating _ . They just…

They were…

Yes.

Jon attempted a slight change of subject. "Why are you even interested in the answer to that? It's not like you're a biology major or anything."

Martin huffed. "Seriously, Jon? Can I not want to know things outside my studies? Really?"

He sighed, point taken. "Okay, fine. Fair point."

Martin didn't respond to that, instead taking to playing with his glass and talking to himself, a quiet blur of polish and english mixed into an incomprehensible mess.

Jon knew some polish. Martin taught him a few phrases that were popular amongst foreigners (and how some of them were used incorrectly) and a few others that were frequent in use by natives.

Pronouncing some of them was Hell,  _ whoosh  _ and  _ swoosh  _ and  _ shh  _ and  _ chee  _ and other sounds resembling a speech snakes would give if they tried to mimic human voices.

But he also learnt a few other little things without Martin's help in his spare time, his own curiosity be damned.

For example, he discovered that the word Martin started to mumble an hour ago meant "to patter, to mince" and that was the only reason they ended up where they were now.

Jon really hoped this evening would end up differently but, alas, his luck was rotten.

"Martin." He finally said, turning to his… fellow resident of the third floor in the hall of residence. "Let's go home, hm?"

Martin looked at him, as if he was intensely wondering about something. Then his cheeks turned slightly red and he shook his head.

After that he said a soft, single word. "Okay."

Jon helped him get off the stool and, after footing the bill, proceeded to be a crutch in a quite literal sense of the word. Martin was bigger than him and now seemed to be losing his balance quite easily.

Not that Jon wanted to complain… that much. It was a bit uncomfortable but after a few minutes he got used to it. He also had an excuse to be close to his… acquaintance.

_ God, _ it would be  _ so nice  _ to  _ know _ where he stood.

It was the middle of October. The term barely started, Halloween decorations were hanging everywhere even though there was still a week and a half left and Jonathan Sims was feeling very uneasy about his feelings.

He'd been aware of Martin's existence last year as they had a class together every week for the first term and then he got to know the guy a bit better as they kept bumping into each other in the library during the second one. But this year, when Jon was supposed to focus more on his thesis and research since the very start, it just oh so happened that Martin ended up living in the same house as him. On the same floor, even. Three doors to the left, to be precise.

Tires of the passing car screeched awfully as it took a turn and Jon grimaced. It was a really unpleasant sound.

"Ugh." Martin commented and Jon couldn't agree more. "Where are we again?"

"Just two streets away from home, Martin. We should be there in a few minutes."

"It's not a home, though." 

"The closest we have to it, then."

Martin hummed.

Jon thought he would leave it at that, but after a few more steps Martin spoke again.

"Thanks for indulging me today, Jon." He smiled that little warm smile, the very one that could melt the ice with the power of the Sun.

Jon suddenly felt very hot under his thin coat and cardigan. 

"N-No problem, really, my pleasure."

"I mean it, Jon. It's not like you had to take me out for a few drinks when I told you I've passed Lukas' test."

"The man is a menace and his tests are unintelligible, the only right thing to do was to  _ celebrate  _ your victory." He said in all seriousness.

Martin laughed at that. It was a nice sound, Jon thought. He wasn't hearing it often.

They kept navigating the narrow streets until they reached the main road. At the end of it was another turn and then they should be able to see the hall of residence's lights in a distance. They were close. 

And then it started to rain. There was no warning, no indication of it, nothing. They rushed to the closest shelter-resembling thing, their coats already wet when they got there.

That would be it for a peaceful walk back.

"This is a joke." Martin summed up a tad grimly and Jon silently agreed with him. It was a joke. Very unfunny one at that.

"It is October, the weather is prone to be…" Jon did a vague gesture with his free hand. "Like this."

"But  _ why _ ?" Martin said, or maybe rather  _ whined _ . "Couldn't the rain wait a few more minutes? That's just  _ rude _ ."

Jon snorted. "The weather doesn't care about anyone's opinions or wishes, you know?"

"I know." Martin sighed. "At least I'm stuck here with you, so that's nice."

That was… a bit unexpected. Jon decided to stay silent and appreciate the… compliment? Instead.

The rain was drumming on the glass above them, a persistent little sound. It was soothing, though. In a way. It felt as if they were the only people out there in the world, the rest forgotten by time and space. Jon wasn't even sure what the time was right now but he thought it must be late. Safe for the pub itself and then one or two cars, they didn't really see any signs of life tonight. It was plausible to pretend he and Martin were the only one left in this corner of the world.

Jon wouldn't admit it out loud, of course. He wasn't particularly good at opening up and talking about his feelings. Life of bottling them up and pretending you didn't have them does that to you.

But talking with Martin was making it easier, in a way. It wasn't to say Jon suddenly poured all of his traumas and fears and feelings onto the guy but spending time with his…  _ probable _ friend was steadily making the process of sharing a bit easier over time.

Last year Jon was a mess. As in, an even bigger mess than he usually was. He vividly remembered how he found it troublesome to balance everything in his student life out and how during the exam period he didn't sleep for three days straight, wearing the same sweats for almost a week. It was an awful time but he did pass what he needed to. Now he was just as tired but he learnt to pretend he was doing better than he actually was.

Martin, though… He was a bad actor. Or maybe rather he was good enough of a liar to fool people around but tired enough to let the act fall short as soon as Jon was around. As if he didn't have it in him to care what Jon would think of him, or maybe Martin just felt Jon would know anyway, so he decided to save the energy for other things. Jon couldn't blame him and, to be frank, appreciated the honesty. He just wished he didn't feel so bad when he saw Martin drinking red bulls third day in a row, bags under his eyes getting bigger and bigger every day. Jon knew the feeling and understood why he was doing that, but he felt sorry for him anyways.

And it was only October.

"Thanks, Jon."

It startled him a bit, but he regained his composure fairly quickly. "Um, what for?"

Martin shrugged with one arm. "Everything, I suppose? I don't have many friends, so I appreciate the company. And the survival tips. And entertaining but useless trivia. And funny stories about some professors. Everything, really."

Jon wasn't sure what to say. It was probably alcohol talking, making Martin more sincere and random than he usually was, so he let that pass. It would be rude not to answer, though.

"No need to thank me, Martin. I…" Jon hesitated for a moment. "Like spending time with you."

Martin abruptly turned his head, looking at him with an utter surprise and something akin to what Jon could only describe as  _ joy. _

"That's… kind of you to say. Thanks."

Jon scoffed but in that soft, fond manner.

Silence settled once again, save for the rain. On the one hand, Jon had the urge to fill it up with something, with pointless talk of sorts. On the other, he had a vague feeling it wasn't really needed. That the silence was perfectly acceptable right there and then.

Martin started to hum an unfamiliar tune. And then he attempted to quietly  _ sing. _

" _Ko-cham cię za to, że jesteś kim je-steś… Nie muszę lepszy być przy tobie…_ ” He seemed a bit out of tune but the words were surprisingly clear. “ _Mo-gę być niedopra-cowaniem, rozmyciem, plamą, niepo-go-dze-nie-m…"_ 1

And then started humming once again, the melody as foreign as before.

Jon… Jon didn't really get the meaning of what he just heard. Martin was singing to himself, most likely, but Jon stood close enough that he heard the words anyway. He understood maybe three of them total but… No, that could not be it. He probably had taken them out of context and so he probably lost a nuance of the lyrics as a whole. Yes… They probably meant something drastically different in-context. That had to be it.

He therefore refrained from making conclusions and instead opted for asking a question. That was something he was, supposedly, good at.

"What was that right now?"

Martin seemed surprised by that, as if he didn’t account for being heard. "Oh, um, nothing really." He gave Jon a sheepish little smile. "A song I've just remembered."

"Huh."

"Sorry‒"

"Oh no, no, don't be." Jon reassured. "I don't mind. It sounds… nice. The song, I mean."

"It is.” Martin nodded. “I could... send it to you, if you wanted? Once I get the hold of my laptop, that is."

Jon looked at Martin and then, against his better judgement, smiled. He wasn't used to doing that and it probably showed, but Martin didn't seem to care. He smiled right back at him.

"Yeah." Jon said. "I'd like that. Thanks, Martin."

They stood like that for a moment and only after a couple of minutes Jon noticed the rain started to ease out. Maybe soon they would be able to resume their walk home, and so he told Martin as much.

"To go home…" Martin mused. "It reminds me."

"Yes?"

"I still don't know the answer."

"What answer?"

And before Jon could reflect and stop himself, Martin  _ erupted _ .

"To  _ the  _ question, Jon!  _ Dokąd nocą tupta jeż?  _ Where does it go? Where??"

"Martin…" Jon said weakly, their last hour at the pub coming back at him. "Why are you‒"

"Is it going home? Is it looking for food?? Is it having a good time???" 

The rain was still pouring so Jon had no choice but to contemplate the possible answers to the enduring question of “Where does the hedgehog patter at night?”. Again.

* * *

1\. " _I love you because you are who you are... I don't have to be better around you... I can be an unfinished work, a blur, a stain, a conflict..."_ in a rough translation.

**Author's Note:**

> "Dokąd nocą tupta jeż?" (loosely translated into "Where does the hedgehog patter/go at night?") is a sort of low-level meme in Poland. It's not a typical meme but a sort of thing you could say to lighten up the mood of the room a bit. Sort of an inside joke, but widely spread.
> 
> Martin is singing [Dom by Mikromusic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utLStibjEVg) which is a lovely song, I highly recommend you check it out! (Also yup, the title roughly translates to House/Home, which seems fitting).


End file.
